Through the lens of you

Everywhere that I go, I see you. 

I saw an old man who was wearing a shirt that you might like to wear.

I thought about your back who might be waiting for me to finish my short walk. 

Then I start thinking about you and I being together, we can be the people who need each other and wait for each other wherever we go. 

Suddenly, I felt the absence of my dad who never picked up my phone. 

Even last time he had to hang up the phone because he was in the middle of the meeting. 

I understand, I didn't mean that I don't get him. But my body remembers that absence since I was very young. 

Even if I see him with enough time and space for each other, I can't be close to where I wanna be with him.  So my body remembers the absence as a pain. 

It was a gradual and unpleasant pain that I might need to carry for all my life. 

I gave this pain as an offering to God without knowing if he'd receive it. 

I was wondering if you could fill up the gap between me and my dad, no I'm just curious how this human relationship works.